promises to the sun

I looked to the sunlight one day...

It burned my heart...

It saved my life...

You saved me from my dark days...

I promised I would never hurt you...

I promised I could love you just the way you are...

I promised I would never hate you even if you hurt me...

I promised I would never judge you even if you could judge me one day...

I promised I would never lie to you.....

I promised I could let you go even if I like you so much...

You leave me...

I tried to understand you and respect that....

You hurt me...and even if that make me cry a lot I still love you...

I wished just kill myself...

You worried if I could just take my own life...

I lied to you for the first time saying I never could have a suicide attempt...

I promisse you I will be ok....and lied for the second time....

I told you I could be ok without you for have someone near me to help me....and lie for the third time....

Days....months....terribles times without you...and just for one day I read words from you about me...

You was feeling guilty and asked for me show I was ok....

And I lied again saying I was ok....and everything was fine...

I lied to you saying I could support all that sorrows....

You was suffering too.....not for love me....but for me love you so much...

And everything from me just hurt you...when I only wished your happiness...

I couldn´t stop worried if you was ok...and then you hurt me again....and again...

I never will see you again....

You make me promise you that...

And I will never see you again...

You make me feel you really wished I could be dead....

You hate me so much....

You think so bad about me...

And I always just wanted talk with you...

I know I never deserved you....

I know I am not good enough for you...

I never tried make you mine....

I just wanted support you always...

And in the end all I can do for you.....is never see you again...

I was strong.....now I am weak...

I was a man by my word....

Now I am just a lost soul without pride....

You make me broke my promise to talk with you again....to make me say I was ok...

And now I promise I never will see you again...

I need be strong....

I know I will never see you again....cause when I feel my presence only hurt you I can keep that promise for you....

I just can´t keep that promise to never hurt myself...I don´t want....

But with a blade in my hand I tried cut my wrist...and just stop the blade...

I cried thinking even if I die by my own hands I could be just breaking another promise with you...

You hurt me so bad.....I don't chose you to be the center of my world....but you really are....

You make me chose never see you again....I accepted.....but I know will hurt me forever...

I am a liar....

I can´t live without you...

I can´t be ok without you...

But I will be ok....